Gaia Community: Beansprout's Blog

A Child's View To The Heart

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:33:37 GMT

Today is my son Scott’s 29th birthday. That is indescribably difficult for me to fathom! He’s off on a great adventure rock climbing in Alabama. I know, who would have thought Alabama for rock climbing? But it is actually called bouldering, which basically means climbing giant boulders as if they were trees – bare handed scaling of rocks as big as houses… He went camping with an outdoor group from University of New Hampshire to a place called Horse Pens… there are videos on YouTube if you’re interested is seeing what he’s doing.

I miss him a lot, especially today, but I am so very happy to see how he’s taking opportunities to do things that excite and refresh him. He is an adventurous spirit and that’s helped him become and stay healthy. To tell the truth, I think he’s feeling a little anxious about turning 30 and wants to do as much as he can before he “gets old and weak” – ah! I remember when 30 seemed old! It feels like it was sometime last week!

So since he’s not here to celebrate, I decided I’d make up my own celebration by telling you a story. It is perhaps the most important story of my life. The best gift ever. Apparently, it’s a two way gift given between my son and me…

Scott and his housemate Gabe came for dinner the night before they left for their trip. Scott started talking about being raised by a single mother and that people have ask him if it was hard. I’ll tell it in his words, because I was so captivated I remember it word for word…

“I have a clear image in my mind of being about 7 or 8 years old in the warm room at the Boy’s Club before a hockey game. I looked around and saw all these fathers lacing up their kid’s skates. In hockey it’s important to have your laces nice and tight. Then I looked at my little Mom in front of me using all her might to lace up my skates.”

Gabe said, “That’s so sad. Did you feel bad?”

“No, I didn’t feel sad at all. I didn’t know anything different. I just felt grateful. I always knew my skates would be just as tight as everyone else’s. That sums up how I feel about my Mom as a single mother.”…

Well, tears were flowing then as they are now. To think that an eight year old could have such insight and clarity, and then choose to tell me the story 21 years later was… amazing, deeply moving, and enlightening…

It made me realize that for all of the regrets, wishes, wants, sorrows, and guilt I have been carrying around for how things could have or should have been different during his childhood, if that is his image of me… then I’m good and can lay all those things to rest knowing that he is a healthy, loving, and inspired man. I am so proud of who he is and I learn so much from him every day. I am so blessed.

In just the week since he told me this, I have found two occasions to share it with friends who are struggling with how certain difficult issues in their lives are going to affect their children. Scott made me realize that whether our lives and homes are structured with all the accoutrements and circumstances that we think are necessary and “normal”, what our children see and learn most from is who we are beneath the surface. Our deep love for them and our honesty in expressing who we are because of them is what matters above all. The masks, armor, and disguises we might use to protect them or ourselves are invisible to our children. They have a clear and unobstructed view of our hearts.

Tags: childhood, parenting, single mother

IamUrMe

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 16:12:22 GMT

IamUrMe - WeRGod

Tags: QaR, God, beliefs

What I Heard In The Silence Beneath The Voices - Inauguration Day

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:05:40 GMT

Did you hear it? As I watched Barak Obama lay his hand on the very bible that Abraham Lincoln held 150 years ago I was struck by an incomparable sense of history “high fiving” the present. It looked and felt like the literal intersection of one loop of the evolutionary spiral crossing over the next. However any of us attempt to define it, it was clear that everyone felt it happening at the very same moment.

Metaphors abound.

If the past 150 years were chapters in a grand book, today begins a new volume, with new authors, new fonts, new themes and a new storyline.

If the civil war brought America from infancy to toddlerhood, we’ve seen the self-centered, stubborn, and joyful sense of “mine” play out. Now perhaps we are in the learning to get along and understanding our role among the larger group, where we may alternately bully and be bullied, all the while with a growing trust in one another and a better understanding of how nature intends for systems work. Eventually, our growth as a nation will lead us to a maturity that realizes how profoundly our individuality contributes to the collective experience, and that our role in the world will mirror our growth as a nation.

The fact that Barak Obama is of African decent is, of course significant given the history of our nation. But, I believe it only serves to emphasize the true magnificence of what we as a group of individuals have done. What is most remarkable is the shift in consciousness that enabled us to choose a leader whose intelligence, character, ethics, voice, and vision are resonant enough to represent our collective intentions. Obama has inspired hope when there is fear, trust when there is deceit, unity when there is dissension. It is indeed the greatest display of common purpose in America’s history. It is a shift in the evolution of humanity’s collective consciousness.

While many pens were poised to record the quotable quotes in Obama’s inaugural address, I find the absence of rhetoric and prophecy a reflection of the very essence of our chosen leader. His words were real and tangible. “…we will be judged by what we build, not by what we destroy.” “We will do our business in the light of day.” His plea for our participation, our acceptance of responsibility and sacrifice, our intention of delivering an America we can be proud of to future generations… Those are refreshing truths unlike the shallow, father knows best, false promises we’ve become accustomed to hearing.

Obama has allowed us to imagine not only a better life for ourselves, but a new sense of community, the creation of a culture to be matured through our collective conscious efforts. Already, we have been stirred toward reconsideration and action.

Tremendous challenges are ahead for all of us, not only for the economic, social, and international crises to be unraveled, but our diligence, patience, and willingness to persevere in our renewed vision will be tempted and tried. As we learn to navigate our way in this new territory we, as individuals and as a nation, will need to actively maintain the momentum that began to flow when we gained the courage to effect this magnificent change. The energy and joy that enveloped January 20, 2009 will last only if each of us make it so.

As for me, I’ll do my best to continue to live a life based in love, truth and peace.

I feel blessed and grateful to be living this journey with all of you.

Tags: inauguration, barak obame, unity, conscious evolution, hope, america, abe lincoln

Being A Witness To Evolution...

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:44:26 GMT

It’s not like me to pontificate on politics, yet I am compelled to share what was on my mind waking up this morning…

Last night, I sat in awe of what was unfolding before my eyes.   I was grateful to be alone in those hours because I couldn’t have mustered words to speak or thoughts that could be articulated. It seemed a slow and steady flow of tears were the only route of escape for some of the wonder and gratitude that was consuming me. I was witness to an evolutionary moment in a culture, one of the kind that until now was only seen in history books and recreated in movies. I don’t think I would have been more captivated had Lake Michigan parted to usher George W. Bush out of town.

What we all witnessed was far more than a moment of change. It is a shift in the collective conscious that will reshape the future in ways we might not imagine at the moment. It will reshape the future into a history of a redefined America. It may well be America’s graduation from infancy to toddlerhood; perhaps we have just taken our first step. Wobbly as it may for a while, we have let go of the hand that until now we have held onto for fear that we might not know how to keep our own balance. But, as toddlers do, in a moment we found courage to move beyond the “safety” of dependency on a system that promised to be “for our own good” to the confidence in our innate wisdom and human responsibilities to explore another path. We have gotten up off our knees and put one foot in front of the other.

I believe that regardless of who was elected last night, change would have occurred. John McCain is a brilliant, kind, and well intentioned man. He may have been a good leader and created some level of difference in the experience of being an American.   But it would have been like attempting to fix the problems by the same means that created them in the first place, perpetuating a cycle of chaos. The American family has gathered a new set of tools with an eye on discovery the true meaning of democracy.

Some of the most compelling images that flooded my vision were that:

Every child in America can now look to the White House, the house that was built by slaves, and freely imagine themselves or any one of their classmates living and working in it.

The most powerful man in the country, whose face and voice are now as familiar as family, represents unity and commonality on so many levels. This has never ever been the case before.

The words our new leader speaks make sense in any dialect, at any community center, and at any kitchen table. Barak Obama speaks to us and for us - not at us. That was at first almost too good to be true, but now is infinitely refreshing. Hasn’t it renewed your expectations?

The newest generation of voters are only scarcely aware of the magnitude of having their voices heard or of their influence in reshaping America’s future.

And, they did it by simply paying attention, believing in something different, and trusting their own ability and right to have a say. This will inspire a fearlessness we haven’t known.

The path for them has been paved by three generations who’s sacrifice and fortitude forged the way.   We should recognize and understand how valuable that is.

Commitment to America functioning as a unified nation rather than as a partisan family feud seems possible, and more so after hearing both McCain’s concession speech and Obama’s victory speech.

I was moved by McCain’s honesty, sincere attitude, and tone of resilience. He reflected the most fundamental spirit of what makes this such an incredible moment in America’s evolution – we are moving into a new and more mature phase of America’s development. Let’s pray his supporters hear him.

Obama did not promise to have all the answers or ask us to sit back and trust him. He does not represent the “father knows best” mentality we’ve found hard to let go of. He made it clear that we are all in this together, that he will not always be as popular as he is today, and that we will have “false starts” and “calluses on our hands”. This is the reality that we may find difficult to accept at times. But, part of any real growth is realizing that not everything we have based our beliefs and faith in is absolute. Letting go of the standards that have created a situation is the only way to change the situation. Recognizing them can be difficult. Let’s try to stay conscious.

While I am hopeful about the changes I’m about to see in my own experience in this life, I am more so grateful for the opportunity to imagine a world that has a chance of enduring based on respect, hope, and unity. I am overwhelmed to know that our children and grand children are now the first generation of a new America. This is true regardless of what does or doesn’t happen in government over the next four years. Because of this story, they have been empowered to recreate America’s legacy.

So, beyond speculation on the daunting task of dealing with the issues at hand – economy, war, heath care, education, environment, etc… I marvel that we have initiated and witnessed an eternal bend in the evolution of humanity…

PEACE + LOVE ~ L

Tags: barak obama, 2008 election, a new america

Hurricane Angels Tribute Video

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:42:10 GMT

This video was produced as part of a Tribute Event honoring post Hurricane Katrina volunteers from Berkshire County. It is both an inspirational story of the human spirit as well as a reminder of how much is left to do, even three years later.

MySpaceTV: Berkshire County Hurricane Angels

Tags: volunteer, hurricane angel, video, hurricane katrina

Hurricane Angels Tribute

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:24:46 GMT

The best description of the event was posted by someone who was there in the audience...

From Ellis Paul's Discussion Board

I'll post video soon.

PEACE ~ L

Tags: beansprout productions, hurricane angel, ellis paul, vikki true, hope for stanley, hurricane katrina, benefit

Ellis Paul Hurricane Angel Video

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:44:24 GMT

Ellis Paul - Hurricane Angel Video

These photos were taken 1- 3 years AFTER Hurricane Katrina!! This slideshow was made for a Tribute to Berkshire County Volunteers and as a Benefit for the Hope For Stanley Foundation. Ellis Paul performed Hurricane Angel live to the slideshow. Please continue to support those affected by Katrina and now another set of devastating storms... they need us all to be Hurricane Angels!

Tags: ellis paul, hurricane katrina, beansprout productions, benefit, tribute, volunteer

Serendipity and The Two Way Bridge

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:23:11 GMT

It seems impossible to express the incredible unfolding that has taken place over the past few weeks. I don't know why the serendipity that is the paintbrush of life amazes me - for I have come to be aware that is the natural flow of things - but it does amaze me just the same. Gratitude.

For the moment I'll begin with this:

             Hurricane Katrina
             The Day The Levee Broke
             Compassionate Neighbors
             Photographs
             A Song
             An invitation
             An event
             Survivors
             The bridge goes both ways
             New stories
             New perspectives
             Visual Art
             Music
             Plays
             Books
             Beansprout Productions
             Many, many questions
             A Vision being revealed...

Someone asked me recently where this is all going. I responded, "I don't dare presume to know." I only know that something grand is unfolding. I can only follow the lights one by one as they appear before me and have faith that they will lead me in the direction I am meant to follow...

www.beansproutproductions.org

Stay tuned...

PEACE + LOVE ~ L

Tags: hurricane katrina, levee break, new orleans, mississippi gulf coast, survivor, hurricane, beansprout productions, hurricane angels

It Takes A Village To Find A Lost Love Dog

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:58:50 GMT

I have so many people to thank for assisting in the search and rescue of Madison last week. With diligent efforts, genuine concern, positive energy when mine waned, hundreds of searching eyes, and Madison's unfettered intention to come home, the universe conspired in ways even I couldn't have conjured to bring her back. Perhaps at some point I'll find the words to share this story that I believe has inspiration, lessons, and truths on many levels. In the mean tiime I send my sincere love and gratitude to everyone and anyone who contributed in any way to helping us find her. Including:

       *Son for EVERY,EVERY thing - we make a great Detective team!
             *Pete for being in the right place at the right time and making the call that
led to finding our girl.
             *Zara and Anthony for taking good care of her and for understanding my need to crash                your wedding rehearsal dinner,
             *Mr. & Mrs. Errichetto for your patience and diligence in helping to solve the
mysterious clues - some might have hung up and blocked my calls,
but you were amazing.
             *Amy for sticking it out for miles and hours to bring me to Madison.
*Minos for being my Internet Bureau ;-)
           *Jason for your positive energy and for caring so much.
             *Norma for being my co-detective and humoring my craziness and for tea and for keeping me grounded and hopeful.
             *Mark for lending me your wife and walking the tracks.
             *The Bartletts's for providing the clues that narrowed our search.
             *Aberdale's for offering to post flyers in every Sunday paper and for being open late                           enough for me to put up a sign and for Pete to see it.
             *The Canaan Truck Stop
             *Tor for taking the long route to look out for her.
             *Steve for being my Spencertown Bureau.
             *Mark and Cathy for being my Canaan Bureau.
             *The lady who approached me at the truck stop to ask for a picture so she could look.
             *The lady with the GIANT dog who made more copies for me.
*Every person who answered the door and offered to keep an eye out.
             *Everyone at Fuel - who recognized and asked about her.
             *The West Stockbridge Police
             *The Richmond Post Office
             *Perks in the Berks
             *The West Stockbridge General Store
             *The other store in West Stockbridge
             *Every DPW worker, landscaper, paver, and electrician we stopped along the way.
             *Every person who didn't have us arrested for trespassing,
             *Jackie for calling us back.
*The cows whom I knew were trying to tell me they had seen her!
*Laura for making the call I couldn't make.
*Emma for sitting with me to remind me I was still among humanity.
*Di for the "delivery".

Love and blessings to each of you. I am happy to say that Madison is happy, healthy and micro-chipped, wearing a lovely collar jingling with every id we could think of. Thank You Thank You Thank You!! Give us a wave when you see us walking!

Tags: dog rescue pets it takes a village kindness thank

Love You Heart and Soles

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:26:42 GMT

This picture was taken 25 years ago and it's still my favorite ever! The look of joy in his beautiful eyes, that glorious smile and his unwavering trust in me to help him fly makes me realize what an awesome blessing and responsibility we have in our children. And, not just OUR children, but ALL children. Too often we think we have so much to "teach" them, when really we have so much more to learn from them. Our charge really is to help them navigate on this earth WITH every bit of their incredibly hopeful, loving, and free spirit in tact, and to guide them toward the direction of their blissful, unedited dreams... with less undoing of their awe and wonderment for the possibilities.

Scott told me recently that he still trusts me that much, just not holding him up with my legs!! Ha!

A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove.
But the world may be different,
because I was important in the life of a child.

~ Dr. Forest E. Witcraft

PEACE + LOVE ~ L

Tags: children, trust, freedom, childhood

Update: With A Warm Embrace

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 13:23:58 GMT

I had the blessing and honor of presenting a copy of my book, With a Warm Embrace, to Hazel, the Mother Superior of DHM in Paris last week. Her reception of my tribute to Lillian Menezes was beautiful. I believe the book has already served its purpose to inspire others and to give wings to the service of this very special woman. I pray now that the means to publish and distribute the book will find me. I hope someday to return to Paris for a retreat among a commununity of people who share Lillian's vision. The book can be viewed by clicking here: With A Warm Embrace.

PEACE + LOVE ~ L

P.S. See comments for an update on the book with wings!

Tags: India, Adivasi, DHM, Inspiration, Publication

Peace. Right. Now.

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 02:43:55 GMT

I returned from a trip to Burkina Faso in West Africa and Paris one week ago. Just to be writing that sentence seems like both a miracle and a surreal interpretation of an old morning pages entry. And, although it is true and I am changed for having the experience in ways I hope to share soon, I am also accutely aware of how time and place can alter the context of any experience. I believe my intentions and prayers manifested the adventure in ways I couldn't have expected or specifically asked for. It's as if my heart, my spirit was craving something that my mind couldn't quite identify and suddenly this opportunity arose and without hesitation I knew it was meant to be. From the first moment, I had a sense of my own truth which I have never known before. Each moment - the exciting, the scary, the hard work, the new, the uncertainty - all of it felt as if I was where I was supposed to be doing what I was supposed to do. Though it wasn't without its challenges and self-doubts, it was an overwhelming validation of who I am. The entire experience can be summed up on one beautiful, powerful, resounding word: YES!

I arrived home full of clarity and purpose and hope that this was only the beginning of a grander manifestation of my vision. I could see it, feel it, taste it, hear it, and smell it. Then within 24 hours, I could see it blurring, feel it melting, taste it souring, hear it fading, and smell it smoldering. With my every thought, prayer, word, and affirmation I held on tight, repainting the images, massaging the feelings, and hugging the thoughts that were my ecstasy only hours before. But now, the ecstacy was turning to despair. Was it the unmet expectations of others' responses? Or the details of everyday life? The responsibilities awaiting? The re-entry to work? Jet Lag?

One week later, I realize it is a combination of all of those and that I have been unsuccessful in holding on. It's not that I've let go, it's that I haven't been strong enough to keep it from being pulled from me. I often scold myself for allowing myself to react to my ego, to negativity, to desires and fears... My teachers have all shown me that this is not the way. But I am weak and unable to find that place in myself that allows me to accept what is and be at peace with whatever that may be. I want and need to get back to that place. To seek and find the Divine within me - I know it is there, yet I am victim to my own ego's need for love, validation, and acceptance.

There are lessons in this. Lessons I've been given many chances to learn, yet the pattern continues. I must find peace without need for making things right. I've spent my life trying to make things right. Stop trying. Everything is right. Right now.

Tags: West Africa, Burkina Faso, Paris, Adventure, Manifest, Make it Right, Peace, Truth

With A Warm Embrace

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:25:36 GMT

Introduction to With A Warm Embrace:

I am blessed to have known Lillian Menezes, Founder and Principal of Vidyadeep Community College in Baruch, India since 2003. My life, as well as the lives of many individuals and families in the villages of Gujarat, is richer because of her. Lillian's extraordinary vision and empassioned service to Adivasi women in her beloved India has empowered many to become "Architects of Freedom", shaping a stronger future for themselves, while honoring and preserving their native culture.

I am honored to share just a bit of my dear friend's wisdom, gathered over three years of conversations, letters, and interviews.

Shanti ~ Lynnette Najimy

With A Warm Embrace is currently in printed version, with the intention of publication to support post production of a video on Adivasi women in India. A selection of quotes that have inspired me and inspired the book can be found on my Quotes Page Photos from the book and others from out trip to India can be found in my India Photo Album.

Though Lillian has left this earth, her legend of service has wings and is carried on in the lives she has affected. It is our intention to give flight to her mission through the producion of Architects of Freedom, that will serve to promote and support her inititatives.

Tags: Book, Inspiration, Life, Publication, Video

Mission Statement

http://beansprout.gaia.com — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 03:56:07 GMT

Beansprout Productions, Inc. has a mission to facilitate the telling of stories that have the power to inspire, inform, and enrich lives. Working in partnership with individuals, families, communities, and organizations, Beansprout Productions explores, discovers, and illustrates moments, events, and growth through digital video, photography, written words, and music into videos to be shared with one or many.

Namaste'

Tags: Book, India, Adivasi, Empowerment, Video, Documentary, 501(c)(3)