Today is my son Scott’s 29th birthday. That is indescribably difficult for me to fathom! He’s off on a great adventure rock climbing in Alabama. I know, who would have thought Alabama for rock climbing? But it is actually called bouldering, which basically means climbing giant boulders as if they were trees – bare handed scaling of rocks as big as houses… He went camping with an outdoor group from University of New Hampshire to a place called Horse Pens… there are videos on YouTube if you’re interested is seeing what he’s doing.

I miss him a lot, especially today, but I am so very happy to see how he’s taking opportunities to do things that excite and refresh him. He is an adventurous spirit and that’s helped him become and stay healthy. To tell the truth, I think he’s feeling a little anxious about turning 30 and wants to do as much as he can before he “gets old and weak” – ah! I remember when 30 seemed old! It feels like it was sometime last week!

So since he’s not here to celebrate, I decided I’d make up my own celebration by telling you a story. It is perhaps the most important story of my life. The best gift ever. Apparently, it’s a two way gift given between my son and me…

Scott and his housemate Gabe came for dinner the night before they left for their trip. Scott started talking about being raised by a single mother and that people have ask him if it was hard. I’ll tell it in his words, because I was so captivated I remember it word for word…

“I have a clear image in my mind of being about 7 or 8 years old in the warm room at the Boy’s Club before a hockey game. I looked around and saw all these fathers lacing up their kid’s skates. In hockey it’s important to have your laces nice and tight. Then I looked at my little Mom in front of me using all her might to lace up my skates.”

Gabe said, “That’s so sad. Did you feel bad?”

“No, I didn’t feel sad at all. I didn’t know anything different. I just felt grateful. I always knew my skates would be just as tight as everyone else’s. That sums up how I feel about my Mom as a single mother.”…

Well, tears were flowing then as they are now. To think that an eight year old could have such insight and clarity, and then choose to tell me the story 21 years later was… amazing, deeply moving, and enlightening…

It made me realize that for all of the regrets, wishes, wants, sorrows, and guilt I have been carrying around for how things could have or should have been different during his childhood, if that is his image of me… then I’m good and can lay all those things to rest knowing that he is a healthy, loving, and inspired man. I am so proud of who he is and I learn so much from him every day. I am so blessed.

In just the week since he told me this, I have found two occasions to share it with friends who are struggling with how certain difficult issues in their lives are going to affect their children. Scott made me realize that whether our lives and homes are structured with all the accoutrements and circumstances that we think are necessary and “normal”, what our children see and learn most from is who we are beneath the surface. Our deep love for them and our honesty in expressing who we are because of them is what matters above all. The masks, armor, and disguises we might use to protect them or ourselves are invisible to our children. They have a clear and unobstructed view of our hearts.

IamUrMe - WeRGod

Did you hear it?  As I watched Barak Obama lay his hand on the very bible that Abraham Lincoln held 150 years ago I was struck by an incomparable sense of history “high fiving” the present.  It looked and felt like the literal intersection of one loop of the evolutionary spiral crossing over the next.  However any of us attempt to define it, it was clear that everyone felt it happening at the very same moment.

Metaphors abound.  

If the past 150 years were chapters in a grand book, today begins a new volume, with new authors, new fonts, new themes and a new storyline.

If the civil war brought America from infancy to toddlerhood, we’ve seen the self-centered, stubborn, and joyful sense of “mine” play out.  Now perhaps we are in the learning to get along and understanding our role among the larger group, where we may alternately bully and be bullied, all the while with a growing trust in one another and a better understanding of how nature intends for systems work.  Eventually, our growth as a nation will lead us to a maturity that realizes how profoundly our individuality contributes to the collective experience, and that our role in the world will mirror our growth as a nation.  

The fact that Barak Obama is of African decent is, of course significant given the history of our nation.  But, I believe it only serves to emphasize the true magnificence of what we as a group of individuals have done.  What is most remarkable is the shift in consciousness that enabled us to choose a leader whose intelligence, character, ethics, voice, and vision are resonant enough to represent our collective intentions.  Obama has inspired hope when there is fear, trust when there is deceit, unity when there is dissension.  It is indeed the greatest display of common purpose in America’s history.  It is a shift in the evolution of humanity’s collective consciousness.

While many pens were poised to record the quotable quotes in Obama’s inaugural address, I find the absence of rhetoric and prophecy a reflection of the very essence of  our chosen leader.  His words were real and tangible.  “…we will be judged by what we build, not by what we destroy.” “We will do our business in the light of day.”  His plea for our participation, our acceptance of responsibility and sacrifice, our intention of delivering an America we can be proud of to future generations… Those are refreshing truths unlike the shallow, father knows best, false promises we’ve become accustomed to hearing.  

Obama has allowed us to imagine not only a better life for ourselves, but a new sense of community, the creation of a culture to be matured through our collective conscious efforts. Already, we have been stirred toward reconsideration and action.

Tremendous challenges are ahead for all of us, not only for the economic, social, and international crises to be unraveled, but our diligence, patience, and willingness to persevere in our renewed vision will be tempted and tried.  As we learn to navigate our way in this new territory we, as individuals and as a nation, will need to actively maintain the momentum that began to flow when we gained the courage to effect this magnificent change.  The energy and joy that enveloped January 20, 2009 will last only if each of us make it so.

As for me, I’ll do my best to continue to live a life based in love, truth and peace.

I feel blessed and grateful to be living this journey with all of you.

 

It’s not like me to pontificate on politics, yet I am compelled to share what was on my mind waking up this morning…

Last night, I sat in awe of what was unfolding before my eyes.   I was grateful to be alone in those hours because I couldn’t have mustered words to speak or thoughts that could be articulated.  It seemed a slow and steady flow of tears were the only route of escape for some of the wonder and gratitude that was consuming me.  I was witness to an evolutionary moment in a culture, one of the kind that until now was only seen in history books and recreated in movies.  I don’t think I would have been more captivated had Lake Michigan parted to usher George W. Bush out of town.

What we all witnessed was far more than a moment of change.  It is a shift in the collective conscious that will reshape the future in ways we might not imagine at the moment.  It will reshape the future into a history of a redefined America.  It may well be America’s graduation from infancy to toddlerhood; perhaps we have just taken our first step.  Wobbly as it may for a while, we have let go of the hand that until now we have held onto for fear that we might not know how to keep our own balance.  But, as toddlers do, in a moment we found courage to move beyond the “safety” of dependency on a system that promised to be “for our own good” to the confidence in our innate wisdom and human responsibilities to explore another path.  We have gotten up off our knees and put one foot in front of the other.  

I believe that regardless of who was elected last night, change would have occurred.  John McCain is a brilliant, kind, and well intentioned man.  He may have been a good leader and created some level of difference in the experience of being an American.   But it would have been like attempting to fix the problems by the same means that created them in the first place, perpetuating a cycle of chaos.  The American family has gathered a new set of tools with an eye on discovery the true meaning of democracy.

Some of the most compelling images that flooded my vision were that:

Every child in America can now look to the White House, the house that was built by slaves, and freely imagine themselves or any one of their classmates living and working in it.  

The most powerful man in the country, whose face and voice are now as familiar as family, represents unity and commonality on so many levels.  This has never ever been the case before.

The words our new leader speaks make sense in any dialect, at any community center, and at any kitchen table.  Barak Obama speaks to us and for us - not at us.  That was at first almost too good to be true, but now is infinitely refreshing.  Hasn’t it renewed your expectations?

The newest generation of voters are only scarcely aware of the magnitude of having their voices heard or of their influence in reshaping America’s future.

And, they did it by simply paying attention, believing in something different, and trusting their own ability and right to have a say. This will inspire a fearlessness we haven’t known.

The path for them has been paved by three generations who’s sacrifice and fortitude forged the way.   We should recognize and understand how valuable that is.

Commitment to America functioning as a unified nation rather than as a partisan family feud seems possible, and more so after hearing both McCain’s concession speech and Obama’s victory speech.

I was moved by McCain’s honesty, sincere attitude, and tone of resilience.  He reflected the most fundamental spirit of what makes this such an incredible moment in America’s evolution – we are moving into a new and more mature phase of America’s development.  Let’s pray his supporters hear him.

Obama did not promise to have all the answers or ask us to sit back and trust him.  He does not represent the “father knows best” mentality we’ve found hard to let go of.  He made it clear that we are all in this together, that he will not always be as popular as he is today, and that we will have “false starts” and “calluses on our hands”.  This is the reality that we may find difficult to accept at times.  But, part of any real growth is realizing that not everything we have based our beliefs and faith in is absolute.  Letting go of the standards that have created a situation is the only way to change the situation.  Recognizing them can be difficult.  Let’s try to stay conscious.

While I am hopeful about the changes I’m about to see in my own experience in this life, I am more so grateful for the opportunity to imagine a world that has a chance of enduring based on respect, hope, and unity.  I am overwhelmed to know that our children and grand children are now the first generation of a new America. This is true regardless of what does or doesn’t happen in government over the next four years.  Because of this story, they have been empowered to recreate America’s legacy.  

So, beyond speculation on the daunting task of dealing with the issues at hand – economy, war, heath care, education, environment, etc… I marvel that we have initiated and witnessed an eternal bend in the evolution of humanity…


PEACE + LOVE  ~ L

This video was produced as part of a Tribute Event honoring post Hurricane Katrina volunteers from Berkshire County. It is both an inspirational story of the human spirit as well as a reminder of how much is left to do, even three years later.

MySpaceTV:  Berkshire County Hurricane Angels

 The best description of the event was posted by someone who was there in the audience...

These photos were taken 1- 3 years AFTER Hurricane Katrina!! This slideshow was made for a Tribute to Berkshire County Volunteers and as a Benefit for the Hope For Stanley Foundation. Ellis Paul performed Hurricane Angel live to the slideshow. Please continue to support those affected by Katrina and now another set of devastating storms... they need us all to be Hurricane Angels!

It seems impossible to express the incredible unfolding that has taken place over the past few weeks.  I don't know why the serendipity that is the paintbrush of life amazes me - for I have come to be aware that is the natural flow of things - but it does amaze me just the same.  Gratitude.

For the moment I'll begin with this:

             Hurricane Katrina
             The Day The Levee Broke
             Compassionate Neighbors
             Photographs
             A Song
             An invitation
             An event
             Survivors
             The bridge goes both ways
             New stories
             New perspectives
             Visual Art
             Music
             Plays
             Books
             Beansprout Productions
             Many, many questions
             A Vision being revealed...

Someone asked me recently where this is all going.  I responded, "I don't dare presume to know."  I only know that something grand is unfolding.  I can only follow the lights one by one as they appear before me and have faith that they will lead me in the direction I am meant to follow...

www.beansproutproductions.org
          
Stay tuned...

PEACE + LOVE ~ L

I have so many people to thank for assisting in the search and rescue of Madison last week.  With diligent efforts, genuine concern, positive energy when mine waned, hundreds of searching eyes, and Madison's unfettered intention to come home, the universe conspired in ways even I couldn't have conjured to bring her back.  Perhaps at some point I'll find the words to share this story that I believe has inspiration, lessons, and truths on many levels.  In the mean tiime I send my sincere love and gratitude to everyone and anyone who contributed in any way to helping us find her.  Including:

            
Love and blessings to each of you. I am happy to say that Madison is happy, healthy and micro-chipped, wearing a lovely collar jingling with every id we could think of.  Thank You Thank You Thank You!!  Give us a wave when you see us walking!


            
            

This picture was taken 25 years ago and it's still my favorite ever!  The look of joy in his beautiful eyes, that glorious smile and his unwavering trust in me to help him fly makes me realize what an awesome blessing and responsibility we have in our children.  And, not just OUR children, but ALL children.  Too often we think we have so much to "teach" them, when really we have so much more to learn from them.  Our charge really is to help them navigate on this earth WITH every bit of  their incredibly hopeful, loving, and free spirit in tact, and to guide them toward the direction of their blissful, unedited dreams... with less undoing of their awe and wonderment for the possibilities.

Scott told me recently that he still trusts me that much, just not holding him up with my legs!! Ha!